Tonawanda News

Columns

May 30, 2013

Thoughts on a marriage

(Continued)

Tonawanda News — Maybe better advice is: Don’t go to bed angry twice.

• Marriage is work. Anyone can tell you that. It’s not always easy.

But what “they” don’t always tell you is that it’s also fun. 

No, really. If you can’t have fun with a person, why marry them? They say “for better or worse,” after all. And it’s not all “worse.”

The great thing about being married is always having that one person next to you with whom you can not only commiserate and cry and vent, but eat ice cream, watch stupid movies, walk on the beach and laugh so hard you cry at the sheer ridiculousness of daily life.

We all know people who look at their marriages as a ball-and-chain, something to endure. Don’t be those people. 

(Look at our parents, after all. They still know how to have fun. I don’t know if we appreciated that as kids, but I do now.)

• That said, there will be times when you look at your spouse and think, “WHY did I marry this person?” 

When those moments come, take those words literally. Think about why you did. Think about the reasons you bought that engagement ring.

I won’t condescend to say that love never goes away, but sometimes it just gets buried. 

• I don’t know if kids are on the horizon or not. That’s up to you two. (And that’s another bit of advice: That’s up to you two.)

If they are ... well, they change everything. And yet they don’t. 

Parenthood will make you even more frazzled and exhausted and distracted, but never lose sight of the fact that they’re in this as a team. It’s a realization and reminder even during the most stressful of times. It still is for us.

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