Tonawanda News — 2:25 a.m. — A crick in my neck awakens me. Rigby stole my comforter. Yes, the entire comforter. I don’t even know where he’s hiding it.
4 a.m. — Rigby wakes me up, says he’s not comfortable and makes me turn around so that both our heads are at the foot of the bed. I bring a pillow. He takes it.
4:10 a.m. — Penny kicks me in the face with a ferocity that’d make David Beckham take notice. Thankfully I was still awake.
4:25 a.m. — Rigby’s still awake. He’s entered the dreaded too tired-to-fall-back-asleep phase. No amount of cajoling can prevent what comes next.
4:35 a.m. — I get up to take him downstairs. Mommy takes a lot of turns with him for this, but today is mine. No worries, though, Rigger Man. Not like I have to work until midnight or anything.
4:55 a.m. — Rigby is eating breakfast, so I write a Crib Notes column in an effort not to waste time. I tried in vain to convince Rigby he’d just feel tired in four hours (which he did) and he’d fall asleep by the early afternoon (which he did), but it didn’t matter. Once again, we woke up even before even most of the teachers and early morning newscasters.
But hey, we did it yesterday, so we can do it again today. There are only, what, 20 hours left until I can go to bed.
Oh ... man.Contact Paul Lane at email@example.com.