Tonawanda News —
You call it, “Where did he get a permanent marker with which to doodle all over the couch?” I call it, “The Rigger Man is the next Picasso. Don’t hate.”
You call it, “He pulled the dog’s tail, tried to jump rope with it then mounted her like a horse.” I call it, well, bad. Yeah, no excusing that one. Can’t hurt doggies.
You call it, “He ran out of the bathroom pantsless, told Penny he’d pee on her and then followed through.” I call it ... um ... I got nothin’.
You call it, “The plumber said he’s never pulled so many Little People out of piping.” I call it ... wait, HOW many did he flush? Really? And Penny’s hair ties, too. Ugh.
You call it, “When Rigby grinds his own poop into the carpet with his bare foot, that makes it really hard to get out.” I call it (sigh) a mess. I mean, c’mon, bud. What would make you take a dump on the floor?
OK. Some acts just can’t be spun into positives.
If these are going to be Rigby’s first memories, at least he’ll have some doozies to share with his future family. And I remember enough to know he’ll create a whole lot more whoppers (and by whoppers, I mean mass destruction) before sanity kicks in.
Until then, we’ll keep the plumber on speed dial. And stock up on air freshener.Contact Paul Laneat firstname.lastname@example.org.