The reason most of us don’t like control freaks is because they always give us the impression that we’re incompetent, or cannot be trusted. I’m not saying they don’t act out of love or your best interest; they often do, but the anxiety and fear of a potential out-of-control situation can be toxic to any environment where they are involved.
We all come to this life with gifts on board for a reason, a lesson and even a purpose. It is difficult to believe that anyone’s purpose is to control someone else.
For a time, raising children is all-consuming and rewarding — but it doesn’t last forever and isn’t supposed to. Marriage and relationships, partnerships of respect, should not be controlling, but provide a venue for mutual growth.
If you truly love someone, then wouldn’t you love to watch them evolve into their full potential? The control freak would probably want to dictate what that potential should be. Many try to control their loved ones for fear of losing them. People tire of being controlled and such relationships suffer and potentially end. Being controlled often leads to someone “flying the coop.” They feel they are suffocating and human instinct will lead to “fight or flight.”
Rest assured, the controlled party does finally leave. The more you try to control or resist change, the more you are doomed to the reality that change is the one guarantee in life. Stress and potential illness may occur within the body of those who try to control that which they ultimately cannot.
Having total control of anything in life is an illusion. In any given moment things can change — and that’s just the way it is. Living with a go-with-the-flow attitude, will unfold the benefits of stress-free living. The weight that will be lifted from your shoulders will add years to your life. People will enjoy your company rather than avoid you. Life becomes easier and you begin to enjoy the “priceless” moments that you would normally miss attempting to be in control.
Catherine Stack is a doctor of naturopathy and a certified nurse midwife. Her practice is located at Journey II Health in Niagara Falls. She can be reached at 298-8603 or at her website at journeyiihealth.com.