Tonawanda News

Features

August 18, 2013

DOUBLE TROUBLE: A realization, an admission ... and hope

(Continued)

Tonawanda News — But sometimes kids just have to be ready. And with children with special needs, that might take longer.

It’s no one’s fault. It just ... is.

Having come to that conclusion, I had to decide if I wanted to write about it. One: No matter how much I love writing this column, some things are no one’s business but ours. Two: I didn’t like admitting that embarrassment, not even if it was at myself. Not one little bit.

Finally, I decided to share this because I know there are parents out there going through the same things we did. They feel the frustration. They watch other kids — whether those with similar health issues or the so-called “normal” ones — and wonder if what they’re doing, how they’re feeling, is wrong.  They hide the embarrassment, not of their children, but of their own perceived shortcomings. They wonder if it will ever get better.

So I’m here to say: Yes. It will.

Keep working. Keep trying. Don’t give up. Eventually something will click. Your child will just be ready, or a method will make a connection that wasn’t made before.

There is hope. Yes, there is. I have a little boy who is happily wearing Elmo underpants right now, something I nearly gave up hope of seeing many times over the past five years as potty-training method after method failed. We bribed him, we worked with him, we watched him like hawks ... weary, distracted hawks, but hawks nonetheless. We even pointed to his successfully trained sibling. He just didn’t care.

And then, one day ... he did.

Was it him? Was it something we did? I don’t know. But after weeks ... months ... years ... of persistence, I can take a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

So, to parents of many other kids: Don’t give up. Take a deep breath. Hang in there.

It gets better.

Jill Keppeler is a writer for the Tonawanda News. She can be reached at jill.keppeler@tonawanda-news.com. Follow her on Twitter at @JillKeppeler.

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