Tonawanda News

Features

February 11, 2013

Raising children -- where does the money go?

Tonawanda News — Most estimates have parents spending more than $200,000 to raise a child from birth to age 18.

I am now convinced every last dime of that is either pooped or thrown away.

Many times, it’s a combination of the two, actually. The next time I take either Penny or Rigby out to eat and they consume all their food might just be the first time. Penny loves collecting samples of everyone’s food and taking one bite from each, while Rigby generally drinks a cup of milk, sucks down one bite of macaroni and then runs laps around the table until Usain Bolt looks over and remarks how long Rigby’s been running.

Anyway, even after only 51/2 years of parenting, I can’t help but look at our lives sometimes and wonder where the thousands of dollars we’ve spent have gone. 

I certainly know where many of them have gone, though. Every time I take a step and hear a dinosaur’s head crunch under my foot, I see another couple bucks go into the garbage can.

Whenever the kids pour three-quarters of a bowl of Kix into the sink, garbage or on the floor, I see dollar bills drift away in the wind.

When Penny tells me she bought an ice cream at school but was too full for a single bite, I imagine whether it’d have been more fun setting the dollar on fire.

We’re thankfully now out of diaper stage, but cleaning up nuclear-level dookies represented the ultimate insult added to the injury of spending money to catch ... well, you know.

I love being a dad, mind you, and I would do anything for my babies. But every semi-regular trip I make to drop off more bags of toys to donate at the local charity box makes me think there are different — dare I say, better — things I could be doing with them if that money I was now giving away was still in hand.

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