Tonawanda News — What’s wrong with Mr. Dad?
On this Father’s Day 2013, I want to say that I wouldn’t be the mom I am today — flawed and imperfect in many ways, but trying to do the best I can — without three fathers in my life.
My own dad, who went from expecting the birth of his first child to coping with the early arrival of unexpected twins, and then the loss of one of those twins and the two-month hospitalization of the other. (That would be me.) The man planned a funeral by himself while worrying about his wife and other infant daughter still in the hospital. I can only imagine what that was like. (My dad’s a worrier ... just like his daughter.)
He dealt with a crabby teenage girl, who he probably didn’t understand at all, the best he could, finding things we could talk about even as that little girl he once knew got older and older. (This is how, for years, I’ve been a NASCAR fan.) He understood and listened when I turned out far more like him than he probably wanted. (We’re both worriers, which is putting it mildly.)
And he’s now the best grandfather to my boys that any woman could ask for.
My husband. I didn’t want kids once, did you know that? Too much work, I said. They change who you are, I said. I just couldn’t see myself signing up for that.
But this guy I was dating? He wanted kids. I wasn’t so sure about that at first. But finally I started to see how I might want that, too. How the rewards could be great, if only the work was truly shared. And for the first time, I could see that happening.