Published: September 24, 2008 11:35 am            

DOUBLE TROUBLE: What they don't tell you about having two

Well, I’m back. It’s been precisely three months today since the arrival of Samuel David Keppeler, 8 pounds, 3 ounces of energy and cuteness and trouble. He joins big brother Jim, who’s now 3 years and 10 months old, in giving me lots to do — not to mention column topics.

Truth? I love them dearly, but they’re exhausting.

No one tells you that when you make the jump from one to two children, it’s just as much of a shock as the jump from none to one — in some cases, it can be more.

• Remember the days when you could occasionally get a child-free moment? Like when the kid was sleeping or your spouse had taken him out to run an errand or something? As Jim would say, “Buh-bye.”

There’s an understudy waiting in the wings now, and he’s almost certainly not going to conveniently take a nap when No. 1 isn’t around. In fact, this is prime time for an “if you put me down for two seconds, I’m going to wail because you’re never, ever going to pick me up again” stretch.

And they will almost NEVER sleep at the same time. And when they are, you’re going to want to be sleeping, too. Trust me on this one.

• Having a easy-going kid as No. 1 does not even remotely mean that No. 2 is going to have the same personality. Sam’s grouchiness at times has already led to his getting tagged with the nickname of “Oscar.”

During his first week, he flat-out refused to sleep when not being held. And “refused to sleep” is defined as “cried furiously and kept everyone else awake as well.” Fortunately, we’ve moved past that stage for the moment.

However, he’s still capable of being peeved by the most innocuous things, such as being shifted from arm to arm or having his brother leave his sight for two seconds. At the moment, his annoyance of choice is his inability to roll over, which he badly wants to do.

And to make it worse, it seems he’s teething. Early. How lovely.

• When you’re occupied with the baby — usually something intensive like feeding him when he’s being temperamental or changing a particularly nasty diaper — is when your older child will suddenly, desperately need you for something. You know, something really important, like turning on a toy with a sticky switch or getting him a glass of juice. And delay of any sort is met by instant heartbreak.

In another option, that’s when No. 1 will cleverly decide to do something he’s really not supposed to do, such as throwing random items down the laundry chute or climbing up on the back of the couch. This is when mothers suddenly turn into Elastigirl.

Yeah, I’ve seen “The Incredibles” a few times.

• The sibling instinct for getting under each others’ skin starts early. Jim has already come up on Sam just as I’ve gotten him to sleep and yelled “Hi, baby!” right in his ear.

This was not even remotely amusing at the moment. In hindsight, though, I’ve never seen quite that expression on an infant face before.

But here’s the good part: You don’t often hear about the more rewarding parts of having two, either.

Like the moment when your 3-year-old, faced with the first day of a small interloper in his home, pauses in going out the door with his daddy to run back and kiss his baby brother good-bye. No one told him to do that. I suppose it was just instinct.

Or how the baby, at the ripe ol’ age of 3 months, is already trying to crawl after his big brother. Or how he’ll chortle and giggle for him like he will for no one else.

Or how it feels to sit, one kid on one knee and one on the other, reading a book that No. 1 wanted to “share” with his brother.

Yeah, having two can be exhausting and exasperating and maddening.

And it’s so worth it.

Jill Keppeler is a page designer for Greater Niagara Newspapers. She can be reached at keppelerj@gnnewspaper.com.

        

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