Tonawanda News


May 30, 2013

Thoughts on a marriage

Tonawanda News — It’s difficult to wrap my brain around.

My little brother, my only sibling — the kid who bit me when he was a toddler, threw a shoe at me when he was about 8 (and blamed me for the broken window when I ducked), drove me nuts when I was babysitting him, confounded me as a teenager — is not only a grown-up, responsible member of society these days, he’s tying the knot soon with a wonderful woman.

While it makes this big sis feel sort of old, I’m happy for them, too. And sort of introspective about the whole thing. I used to swear we were about as different as siblings could probably be, but the older I get, the more I realize we’re more alike than I ever thought possible. (Sorry, bro.) And I feel like I want to offer a little something that’s more than just a card and a check and a dance at the wedding.

Paper is supposed to be the traditional gift for the first anniversary, but I’m going to jump the gun a little. Here’s a bit of paper for the upcoming nuptials. Take it for the newsprint it’s printed upon, and the sincerity behind the words.

• People will tell you never to go to bed angry with your spouse. And I suppose it’s good advice not to let things fester, etc.

But you will.

There will be days you’ll go to bed absolutely furious. Maybe even broken-hearted. You will. It’s going to happen. People are fallible (yes, even you). You’ll both say things that hurt at some point.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe going to bed angry is not always a bad thing. It gives you time to think about why you feel the way you do. Why your spouse feels the way she does. What’s behind the anger and the hurt. And by the time the next day rolls around, maybe you’ll have a little more perspective than you did before, and a better way to communicate it.

Text Only
  • duvall, eric.jpg DUVALL: On lines blurred, crossed and nonexistent It strikes me more and more how blurry the lines have gotten in all facets of our world, large and small.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Tucker, Barbara.jpg TUCKER: Oh, the joys of Sound Off Never thought the words "Thank goodness for Sound Off" would ever be printed here.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • adamczyk, ed.jpg ADAMCZYK: And now for something completely different... Last weekend I attended a local movie theater (a plushy, posh experience; they design these places now to get you out of your living room and away from your home electronics) to watch the sun set on the British Empire.

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • OUR VIEW: Arson suspect never deserved bail Two of the 11 fires reported on Fifth Avenue could have been prevented with some jurisprudence in evaluating whether the suspect, Michelle Johnston, deserved to be offered bail. Given the obvious nature of a repeat offender who was charged with nine felony arson counts, bail never should have been offered in this case.

    July 25, 2014

  • wallace, amy.jpg WALLACE: Too much information? Is there such a thing as TMI or too much information anymore? Some might say yes.

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • duvall, eric.jpg DUVALL: On reading and the lack thereof It was surprising to me a few weeks ago when a friend asked a group of us to estimate how many books we have each read over the last five years. The English teacher said 200 and he far and away led the pack. I was probably the median and my number was 20-25.

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • confer, bob.jpg CONFER: A Con-Con would be a con game

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • duvall, eric.jpg DUVALL: Conflict in Ukraine now a concern of global proportions It seems increasingly clear Ukrainian separatists, with the help from the Russian military, are responsible for the tragedy. They, of course, have denied it. They've also denied access to the crash site to international investigators seeking to recover the dead and determine what happened. That's not something the innocent party does.

    July 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • ADAMCZYK: Personal development, rendered in steel Accepting the premise that everyone needs to fill the same amount of time every day (24 hours, every day), some people use theirs rebuilding things, tangible things, and thus fulfill a few intangible goals.

    July 18, 2014

  • WALLACE: Festival season is underway Summer is the season of fairs and festivals. From Canal Fest in the Tonawandas to the Allentown Art Festival and Italian Heritage Festival in Buffalo to the Erie County Fair in Hamburg, the Western New York area has no shortage of things to do with the family over the summer.

    July 17, 2014