Tonawanda News — Screw Papa John’s. Order from your favorite LOCAL pizza joint and help their owner pay for health insurance for his employees.
• I’d give fellow rich dude Warren Buffet’s secretary a raise. Dear Warren seems to prefer pointing out the percentage she pays in taxes compared to the salary he pays her — rather than just giving her a raise.
• Speaking of secretaries, I’d immediately hire one of my own. I can never remember when I’m supposed to do stuff.
• I’d buy a new car. A nice one. And I would try to convince myself not to care whether it was made in the U.S.A. or not, but if I bought a foreign car I’d probably buy two Americans ones and give them away to balance out the socio-economic karma.
Anyone want a Buick? It’s on me. But I’m keeping the Porsche.
• I’d tear down the Skyway since the state DOT seems to think just leaving it sit there for another 20 years is the best plan they’ve got.
I’ll find somewhere else to drive that Porsche, I promise.
Here’s hoping I win so at least a few of these wishes can come true. Though it’ll probably take the secretary I can’t afford otherwise to remind me to buy the ticket.
So much for that dollar (or two) and a dream.Eric DuVall is the managing editor of the Tonawanda News. His column appears Wednesdays and Sundays. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.